A Perfect Fit: The journey from suits to self-sufficiency
By: Wendy Helfenbaum
Six years ago, Paula Moore was a stay-at-home mom of two, living in a beautiful home. She was also a full-blown meth addict whose life was about to come crashing down around her.
“If somebody would’ve told me at that time, ‘You’re going to lose your home, your children and you’re going to lose touch with society,’ I don’t think I would’ve believed them,” recalls Moore, 47. “I tell non-users that a drug addict is like a racehorse with blinders on: The only thing you can see in front of you is that drug.”
After her husband kicked her out, Paula became “a homeless person living in my hometown. I ended up in and out of Clark County Jail for possession charges and identity theft. It was like a revolving door for me.”
In 2002, Moore was arrested for the fifth time. Her skin was gray; she weighed 90 pounds. “That arrest was one of the best things that ever happened to me, because I hit rock bottom,” she recalls.
Letters from her family jarred her into action. “I got to my knees and asked God to break the chains of my addiction. I knew that I needed to set my sights on something more meaningful so I could be the mom I was intended to be.”
During her sentencing hearing, Moore begged the judge to keep her in prison until a bed became available in a treatment center. After doing several months of extra jail time, Moore was released into an in-patient addiction program in 2003, where she successfully kicked her
meth habit.
Armed with her parents’ renewed support and a $5,000 grant from a Workforce Investment Act program, Moore went back to school and earned a degree from Clark College in 2006. She lined up a job interview with an attorney’s office, but realized she had nothing to wear except biker clothes. “My caseworker referred me to Dress for Success in Portland, and when I walked in, I was totally in heaven. There was so much clothing, and immediately, the stress went away.”
Moore’s personal shopper helped her pick out five coordinating pieces of clothing, a handbag, shoes, accessories and undergarments. “It was amazing. When I looked in the mirror, I felt like a little girl getting ready to go to school for the first day.”
Taking the first step
Barb Attridge knows that life changes begin with just one step. Her life change certainly did. Working as a CPA for more than 20 years, Attridge had always longed to “do meaningful work.” After reading a 1996 People magazine article about Nancy Lublin, founder of Dress for Success in New York City, Attridge decided to launch an affiliate in her community.
Since Attridge’s nonprofit organization opened its doors in February 1999, it has helped 10,000 low-income women turn their lives around by providing resources and support to successfully enter the workforce. And it’s not just about getting a free pantsuit, says Attridge, the executive director and co-founder of Dress for Success Oregon (DFSO).
“The suit is just the first step to helping a woman build her self-esteem,” she explains, adding that 140 member agencies in Portland refer potential clients. “We don’t have a formula; we have a one-on-one relationship with women who come through the program. Some have gone through a divorce, or are living in poverty and trying to get their lives back on track.”
With Portland’s unemployment rate swelling past 12.2 percent in August 2009, DFSO has seen a huge increase in demand for its services, adds Attridge. “[In 2009], we saw 250% more clients than [in 2008].”
Breaking away
One of those clients was Tonie Driver, who spent most of her childhood trapped in the grasp of domestic violence. “My mother used drugs, drank all the time and beat me every day,” she recalls. “Later, I was always in unhealthy relationships, because it was all I knew.”
By 2001, Driver had four children and a new abusive boyfriend. “I was scared, sad and lonely, but afraid to leave,” says Driver, 39. “I gave up my kids willingly to let them go live at their dad’s, even though it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
It took two years and a lot of support from the Native American Youth and Family Center (NAYA) before Driver could finally leave her harrowing situation behind. “It was very hard, but with NAYA’s help, I found the strength to start my life over again, make better choices and finally bring my kids home,” recalls Driver.
In 2007, a NAYA employment counselor referred Driver to DFSO. “Both of these programs really enriched my life and made me a stronger woman,” notes Driver, who started a job as an early childhood educator in September after nailing the interview in a gorgeous outfit courtesy of DFSO.
Sharing knowledge, finding support
Once a client finds employment, she can join the Dress for Success Professional Women’s Group (PWG), a job retention and career development program. More than 160 women meet weekly to develop life skills and to network. They’re also partnered with a volunteer from the Better Together mentoring program of Portlandia.
“PWG is really the heart of what we do,” explains Attridge. “We’re like a connector for these women in the community.”
Moore’s self-esteem soared during the PWG meetings. “You’re able to stand up and share good news, which helps you focus on the positive things in life,” she explains.
Ideally suited
Moore’s mentor encouraged her to further her education in Social Work at Concordia University. As part of her degree requirements, Moore did an internship with DFSO and in September 2008, she became its Program Coordinator, doing community outreach with agencies and potential clients.
“You know that really excited feeling in your stomach when you get on a roller coaster? That’s how I feel here in my position at Dress for Success,” she says. “I love seeing the donors bring the clothes in, and I love seeing the clients take the clothes out, because I know that they’re onto a new journey.”
In addition to working full-time and enjoying her children, Driver attends college four nights a week. “I’m proud to be the strong and independent woman I am today,” she says. “I’m a great role model for my kids and for all native women. It’s important to know that there’s support out there. I want to work on my goals and make my dreams come true.”
Moore, who is now closer than ever with her daughter Heather, 16, and son Brian, 22, is writing a memoir. “If I can inspire someone to do better, then I’m living the life that I need to be living.”
A freelance journalist and television producer in Montreal, Canada, Wendy Helfenbaum enjoys writing about the indomitable human spirit. Visit her at taketwoproductions.ca.
